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october cannot come soon enough...   
04:23pm 15/06/2008
mood: indescribable
this precious little number should be out on the shelves in october 2008

hopefully, just in time for my 40th bday!!! woot!


how awesome is this???

BTW, hope y'all are enjoying your father's day!
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09:26am 15/04/2008
mood: nauseated
i'm pulling this tidbit from the new york post, it contains quotes from joan collins, yes, THEEE joan collins.

April 15, 2008 -- JOAN Collins says we're turning into a world of idiots - and she thinks the celebrity magazines are partly to blame. "Our civilization has become extremely dumbed down, with shorter attention spans. All they want are sound bites," the 75-year-old diva, who famously played super-bitchy Alexis Carrington on "Dynasty," tells BlackBook's Steve Garbarino. "The tabloid magazines are the same every week. People has the same cover as InTouch as OK! as Us Weekly as Star magazine. They're exactly the same! It must be 100 to 120 people you read about all the time." But why? "They are appealing to a young audience, or a rather dumb audience," Collins theorizes. She adds that the magazines "go after those girls who exhibit more outrageous behavior. And, believe me, those girls love it. They call in items themselves - that they were at Nobu, some nightclub in SoHo. I can't think of anything more horrible than that. Publicity can be a drug."

the full blurb can be found online here: http://www.nypost.com/seven/04152008/gossip/pagesix/joan__mags_making_us_dumb_106549.htm

now i've been disturbed for years now about how much attention and money people give to celebrities, celebutantes, or people who are famous for nothing. i, for one, will admit that i have been addicted to my share of tv and celebs in the past. sadly, gone are the days of glamour and mystery surrounding these people, as well as the oooh's and the aaaah's when they walk in a room. back then you were lucky if a photographer caught a photo of them in public and it would show up in ONE magazine. now it's just plain disgusting, and it has been for quite some time.

what saddens me most about all this is the way people and this country are bringing up their children to seek out this kind of "entertainment" or "gossip". is it truly gossip if EVERY magazine, TV show and blog has the same exact story and photograph? a few months back, my niece (who was 12 at the time) flipped thru a gossip rag to the Best & worst dressed segment and asked me "uncle coye, i don't think her dress is that bad, do you?" i actually said something along the lines of... "i really don't care what she's wearing, her dress is not going to affect the outcome of your girls basketball game this weekend, it's not going to help you with your math homework tonight, it won't affect your relationship with your friends, and it's defintely going to affect my life at all." i'm pretty sure that's the very last thing a teenage girl wants to hear from her fashionable & gay uncle. she promptly turned to one of my sisters to ask her opinion of the same dress. with that i left the room. when i'm there with my siblings i will blatantly mock them for pouring so much time & energy into these things. they know more about the relationships of the cast of High School Reunion 3 (reality series) than they do about each other.

have any of you seen the film Idiocracy? i highly recommend it... this film is SPOT ON in depicting where the mentality of this country is heading. all the git-r-done's, the reality shows, America's Funniest Home Videos, YouTube and TMZs and MTVs and VH-1s, and People, In Touch, OK, US Weekly mags will see to that.

arrrrgh!!! i'd write more, but i need to get back to work...
12:39pm 15/02/2008
mood: scared
ok, i was hit with this ad on myspace today.

am i the only one that finds the crazy muscle definition in the chest of the man on the left kinda disturbing? do people's chests really look that crazily over-defined?

seriously, i'm all for some skin, and some muscle-toned hottie running around with his shirt off, but this guy looks like he's in the beginning stages of morphing into the hulk or something.

i'm just say'n.
holy happenings   
06:53pm 06/02/2008
mood: pensive
so, i totally spaced that today was ash wednesday until this giant of a man with this ashy smudge on his forehead walked thru the crowd to get off the train at the metra station today. it didn't strike me because i had forgotten to go to church myself, but because this particluar holy day holds more significance for me than just that.

i went to a co-ed catholic grammar school and a boys only (lucky me) catholic high school. so who knows how many times i sat through mass all those years. sure i paid attention here & there, when i wasn't envisioning jesus actually bleeding and breathing while hanging on the cross in front of me and all my classmates.

it was the ash wednesday mass, senior year of high school. the gospel reading and homily were actually inspired me to question the catholic faith and it's teachings... and i'm sure the priests from my school woudl be proud to know that!

i'm not going to quote the priest or the bible, word for word, but they ("they" meaning the gospel & the priest) spoke about how when you're praying, you don't need to be on your knees with your hands folded and head bowed, cuz god knows that you're praying... and when you're being a good neighbor, you don't need to put on a show, cuz god knows that you're being a good neighbor... and when you fast, you don't need to shout or brag to the world that you're fasting... god knows that you're fasting. which brings me to the point of ash wednesday. the day where you are asked to walk around proudly with ashes smudged on your forehead proclaiming your faith and the start of your lenten promises. how is this not a form of bragging or making a show of the fact that you're fasting and beinga good christian? should i just wear an LED scrolling belt buckle that flashes some sort of message as well?

as i sat through the rest of the service, while skipping communion and the ashes, more and more questions swam thru my head... like if god truly is like santa claus, all-knowing and all-seeing, does he really need you to confess to him when you're sorry? shouldn't he know that you are truly sorry? if all these people RARELY go to sunday service, shouldn't they all be confessing before they go to communion? if god made man in his image, why am i gay -- does that mean god is gay? why do catholics hate homosexuals? if god doesn't' make mistakes, then where did the devil come from -- and what about serial killers and child molesters and stuff? why are so many bound by holy matrimony in the eyes of god yet they never step into a church again unless someone dies? and when god binds them for life, how is it that men & women can EASILY undo that binding? you can only imagine how this list goes on.

i won't bore you with lengthier details and questions, and please keep in mind, i'm not setting out to bash on anyone's beliefs... i'm simply sharing my thoughts on ash wednesday and its significance in my life.
dude, where's my car... seriously   
12:30pm 22/01/2008
mood: victimized
long story short... my car is gone.

i got home from a late dinner yesterday, put my bags back in the house and walked over to my car to warm it up (cuz it's fucking freezing here) and my car was not in the spot where i last left it. i felt like pee-wee herman when he realized his bike was gone, only there was no creepy animated clown to be found near the scene of the crime.

i walked around the blocks a few times just to make sure i wasn't having a major brain-fart and thinking that i may have parked it elsewhere, but no luck. i KNOW for a fact that i had just warmed it up the night before only 2 doors from my front door and the keys are still in my pocket. wtf.

seriously, who wants an old beat up 1995 geo tracker so bad that they'll steal it? the engine needs some major work, the back lock is busted, the muffler needs replacing, i can barely take it on the highway in it's current state.

the one thing that disturbed me the most last night was... other than the usual papers, i have no clue what kind of personal info is in the glove box.

i have spoken wit the police, who checked their towing records thoroughly before filing a stolen vehicle report, and i did call my insurance company. what a great to end a 3 day weekend!
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15 minutes of fame... only 11 more to go.   
03:56pm 17/01/2008
mood: amused
read me. i was recently asked to take part in the writing of an article for a local magazine, time out chicago.

The other 3 minutes were used up this way...

- i appeared in a snippet on the local news in high school (gordon tech) when president reagan (yes, i'm that old) visited our school. we were making posters in art class, and the cameras panned thru the room.

- i got my picture in a local gay newsrag when i strutted my stuff on the catwalk at a club called vortex in the early 90's. it was for an aids benefit!

- i got my picture in time out chicago once before when my friends and i partook in a zombie dance party at a club called berlin.

pretty sad way to use up my 15 minutes so far. i'll try harder next time. i promise.
they put eetching poweder in the sleeping bags...   
08:25am 16/08/2007
mood: hyper
gee marcia...

no -- more like, DUH coye! what were you thinking.
apparently i wasn't.

so this morning i got up extra early (like a dork) and decided to trim my hair. that's not the dork part -- seeing as how i trim it all the time. so, i attempted a sad little mohawk and decided it was no longer for me, so i buzzed it all off, again. no biggie, done THAT before. it's my brother's graduation day (good luck on your test!!!) and we just finished about a month of crazy hours at the office... i needed to clean up.

and clean up i did.as i was brushing off all the little bitsies of hair and the the clippers were still plugged in and i thought... "hmmm, i wonder how it would look if i trimmed of my chest hair shorter?" prolly cuzza the porn i was looking at just before bedtime (ya think?).

so now, granted, i've snipped away carelessly at the chest hairs before, usually with a pair of scissors (especially back when themy nipples were pierced). but i've never gone at it whole hog with a pair of clippers! i don't have a shag carpet on my chest, but there's some hair.

click. bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz click (you get the picture)

it all came out a little shorter than i expected, but i actually kinda liked the look -- it won't get me on the cover of some porno, but it's not bad.

not bad, that is, until i've showered, dried off and went to put on a tshirt!!!

DANG!!! i dunno how people do it. i was itching away for at least an hour this morning. even on the train i was kinda fidgeting in my seat. at first i thought it was my elvis t-shirt (all hail the king on this most tragic of holy of days), but i distinctly remember washing it... and i DID grab it from where all the clean clothes are. and then i was like, "DUH, you just clipped all your chest hair, idiot". and now i realize all my shirts are gonna make me itchy for a few days... (hopefully not more).

maybe this is why all the guys with the buzzed chest hair are always seen with their shirts off???
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i 'do   
08:36pm 02/08/2007
  so, it's a little late, but as promised, here's a pic of the new 'do.

i was gonna say new me, but then that thought lead me to new you, which lead me to the New You plastic surgery-type joint in Logan's Run, which i haven't watched in a long long while.

quick note to self... watch logan's run.

other note to procrastinating self... make sure your references to ARKANSAS in your roadtrip logs are abbreviated appropriately. you may have been using the wrong ALASKA abbreviation. d'oh!
something old...   
08:24am 14/06/2007
mood: chipper
something new...
something borrowed...
something... EWWW!!!

this has been a week of new & interesting things for me.

something new & delish!
for one, i got to try something new & delicious. crumpets. yes, i said crumpets. i have yukked it up with a fellow coworker who is from the UK and asked him one day "wtf is a crumpet?" he described them and said he'd bring some in. which he did. and they were yummers. to me they look very much like an english muffin, and the taste like an english muffin, but with the consistency of a fluffy pancake, french toast and a waffle all rolled into one. and with the butter & jam, it reminds me of the way my dad used to eat his french toast - with butter & jam.

something borrowed & something EWW!!!
i got a little sunburnt at the drag strip the other day... not the gay kind with them men dressed as women, but the gay kind with the men dressed in racing gear squeezed into these skinny-ass little cars. greta people watching, great nasty food. lotsa white-trashy-type guys running around with their shirts off in the crowds. anywhoodles, i was a friend's house when the sunburn started getting all itchy. i asked if he had any aloe vera (thinking drugstore type remedy) he pointed to the monstrous plants resembling 2 octopi trying to mate on his windowsill and said, DUH. so we snipped some off & i began rubbing it all over my arms, when i noticed the smell. at first all i could think was boiling pasta, but after soaking in it, my friend commented on how it smelled like piss. the more i sniffed it stunk like stale piss. and sadly, altho i had intended to shower when i got home later, i fell asleep right away... note to self -- wash bedsheets

something new for something old.
i buzzed off my hair. i was getting sick of the upkeep on the mohawk & the color i dropped in recently. am i getting lazy in my old age? pics to come...
that big game show in the sky...   
04:08pm 31/05/2007
mood: sad
why am i JUST learning about this now?


i used to know every little tidbit and snippet of gossip. have i lost my way? i can't imagine what could have been in the news to overshadow this? maybe the war, maybe that that anti-war mom giving up? maybe the cicadas? maybe that mother hanging herself and her 3 children in her trailer home?

makes me wish i had cable and the Game Show Network.

peace out charles... peace out.
vandalicious (or public sculpture... how decadant!)   
09:31pm 12/05/2007
mood: excited
so... looptopia.

chicago decided to do something really cool and host looptopia. an all night, dusk-til-dawn cultural event in the downtown area.

dancing, scavenger hunts, music, bands, theatre, comedy, museums, opera, and yes, shopping all night long, just like lionel richie sang.

it all started a little bit frazzly as i rushed to meet K at work to drop my bags and freshly purchased shoes off at her office before we began our all night party.

we stashed our goodies, and rushed off to the auditorium theatre on congress for their scavenger hunt. i had only been to the venue once, and it was for the dead can dance concert (which was awesome btw) so it was really cool to walk freely about the venue and learn a little about it's history in the process. hanging with our friends chris & tanya made it even more fun. i actually used my blackberry to cheat on a few of the questions. maybe i should submit that story to the blackberry site?

we then headed north to scope out the miss looptopia contest... a drag show. only to learn you needed to pay to get in and all the tix were sold out. we forged on, opting to nab some hooch at the white hen near my office and grab some soda's at work and make some mixers. we got a little buzz on and decided to hit the daley plaza for the ponys. we caught the tail end of their act, more interested in people watching than the music. plenty dirty art boys spattered among the crowd. we also wanted to wait to see mucca pazzo (sp?) this punk marching band which seemed like it'd be really cool, only their marching was limited to the small stage area (boo), but fun nonetheless. we actually joked that if marching band had been like that in school that we woulda joined.

we left during their act cuz it was really cold and we thought we'd sneak in some free art institute time. on the way we slipped by the giant fountain in millenium park and got sprayed cuzza the the wind being so strong that night. we pressed on and we braved the crowd at the museum and went up to the 2nd floor to avoid the mass of people. we scoped a lot of the old dutch masters and the religious stuff. tho i don't remember the artist, their was this relief which contained this scene of babies being slaughtered by roman soldiers. we began commenting on it when the security guard happened by, she said she had never noticed the detail of that scene... then she told us we were free to take photos as long as their was no flash... so of course we went to town on that bitch! K then pulled a baby head outta her purse, and i had (for some insane reason) had a voice chip from a toy in my pocket which contained a loop of a baby crying. needless to say all kinds of antic ensued and we even shot some video with the baby crying in it.

throughout the entire museum journey, i had been playing sms tag with my sisters who were there as well. we hooked up with them and wandered around the loop for our next adventure...

although we had fun palling around withour friends & fam, it seemed that we kept missing the events we had set out to enjoy. even tho they had a time slot blocked off for an hour for most events, if you got their more than 30 minutes into it, you completely lost out, which was kind of a bummer.

it got colder and colder & later and later, so chris and tanya split, as they had a long drive ahead, my fam took off as well.

this is where the looptopia phenom starts to turn into a bit of a let-down.

K & i tried to get into the cultural center to get ready for some sci-fi b-movie action and they were actually turing people away and pushing people out of the bldg. not quite sure what happened, but as the night later unfolded, i think i had a good idea of what was going on. so we decided to snap some pics at the bean in millennium park (public sculpture... how decadant!) since it was so close before we headed home. we had so much fun goofing with out reflections it was kinda embarrassing that that was all it took to keep us busy for nearly an hour.

we decided it was time to leave when the the drunken festivities began. the sound of breaking booze bottles grew louder and louder. tne a groupp of people decided to play some sort of ring-around-the-rosie with th bean, growing larger & larger & louder & louder. it quickly resembled the scene in metropolis where the workers were destroying the machines, oblivious to their impending consequences of their actions. they began pounding on the bean and shouting , i even watched, horrified , as this goofball with a hardhat began headbutting the bean sculpture... thing began to get so out of control that fear began to set in. K&i agreed to get the heck outta there before the stupidity & vandalism grew further outta control.

about that time we received a msg from K's co-worker and joined him & his buds for some drinks, since most of the nights events seemed to be winding down. while at the bar i actually ran into one of my high school chums. one of the few "out" gay guys in school, it was really fun to catch up with him on what he's been up to lately. hopefully we can hang more that i know how to get a hold of him.

after last call we wandered around the city streets a bit more and realized the whole night was turning into a nightmarish frat boy party. i actually watched a couple of fistfights start in the distance as cop cars came whizzing by from time to time.

we ran into a couple of cuties from one of our fave shops in wrigleyville, chatted them up & snapped some more pictures. almost the perfect way to end our evening extravaganza.

we hung out til i thought my bladder would burst, and yes, i did actually wind up peeing in the alley as i would NOT have made it to K's office. not to proud of it, but it had to happen.

for the most part i enjoyed myself, i enjoyed the company we had, i enjoyed the activities we took part in... i was only kinda bummed that sporadic handfuls of drunken fools had to begin putting people, other activities and certain venues at risk. ideally we had intended to watch the sunrise from the loop, thinking it would be almost glorius to see the city in that light... we didn't even make it til 3:30 am or so. boo.
thanks a lot...   
01:14pm 14/04/2007
mood: amused
to you, my dear amavia for your video post.

in response... here's another to get stuck in your pretty little head... and i guess it doesn't need to be said that it's probably not very work safe. unless hotties in yellow jockstraps are cool with your boss.

da horror   
01:34pm 25/03/2007
mood: aggravated
ok, i know this one is going to ruffle a few feathers, but i ha to share.

this past weekend i went with K to see the rocky horror picture show. altho i've seen it before many times, i 've never seen it in a large theatre with the whole audience participation/stage show thingie. i saw it on campus in college twice back in the late 80s'... once in the student center, where everyone went crazy throwing shit, that the performers walked off the stage and took the movie with them. the second show i actually brought props with me, and my friend janice & i were the ONLY ones throwing shit... that is until the "great scott" part, when i got pegged in the back of the head with a the industrial size roll of toilet paper from he rest room. that really really hurt.

now a few months back, K and i saw Clue at the midnight show, in the same theatre (the lovely music box) and with the same performing troop and we enjoyed it ever so much. for the clue show, they had props, costumes, they mouthed the dialog, but there was no shouting or anything. and granted i'm not a huge fan of people talking during movies, i knew full well that this was the point of this outing.

since i had so much fun at the clue showing, and i've seen countless clips of rhps being done, especially that scene from the film Fame, i figure it'd be just as fun.

boy was i mistaken. granted the theatre wasn't even a quarter full, i don't think it was size of the crowd that turned me off. altho i KNOW that people are supposed to be shouting during this, they were shouting so much that you weren't really sure what was going on... AND to make matters worse, apparently the youth of today (here's where i start sounding like the old fart that i am) have taken artistic liberties with what is being shouted at the screen... the very simple fact that instead of shouting "asshole" for brad, they are now shouting "asshole republican". i mean, my gosh!!! from all the clips and minimal exposure i've had to the whole scene i KNOW for a fact that they weren't shouting half of this stuff back in the day.. i mean, seriously, why the heck did anyone feel the need to throw a "mighty morphing power ranger" reference in here? c'mon man.

they did a search at the door to make sure you wren't bringing in any outside food or liquor, but they were also making sure you didn't bring in anything to throw???? why, you ask? cuz, they were selling a giant ziploc-style baggie of pre-approved goodies and props your could throw. with instructions of when and where to throw and what to say. i agree that people need some direction or coaching, but to not allow outside props???

i guess i was more or less disappointed that they had messed with a good thing, only to make it more culturally relevant for today's audiences, much like hollywood has done with it's slew of awful remakes. ugh. is nothing sacred these days?

but i think the biggest tragedy of all was one of the many people who needed to play rocky... the only one that was actually a man in costume, didn't even have the cojones (no pun intended) to wear bikini-style briefs with his costume... i mean, tim curry would would stomp all over anyone who chose to wear shiny, silky BOXERS!!!! or as K called them... pantaloons. and even more annoying, the cast had decided to play "tag-team" style that night - where they all switched roles at random, sporting a beauty style sash to indicate who's role they were in, but this pantalooned buffoon, practically INSISTED that he needed to play rocky thru the entire finale.

the only thing that really made it all worth it was singing along with K to some of the songs, watching this cutie get shirtless to change his costumes. and seeing this guy's cute little butt hanging out of his black bikini's in the closing sequence.
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day 9 - wedding roatrip '06   
11:20pm 20/03/2007
mood: accomplished
*** day nine, sunday ***

woke up early to get on the road again, showered, said our goodbyes to the girls and the dogs, and loaded the car for home. almost 1,000 miles back to chgo and we were determined to do it all in one day. happy that we had no more time constraints or schedules, we took our time to enjoy the scenery.

FINALLY pulled over for a whataburger in texarkana. yes, literally one side of the busy street was texas, and the other side was arkansas. who'da think it? quick sidenote, i just recently realized i may have been referring to arkansas as AK, when it should actually read AR. sorryfo rteh typo!

anywhoodles, back to whataburger. the burger was phenomenal especially since i had been bugging K to pull into one for the last 4 or 5 days now, thinking/hoping they'd sell t-shirts. the logo is very wonderwoman-esque. tho i was disappointed about the lack of the tshirts, the burger and soda more than made up fot it. omg, their large soda was as big as K's head... we have photographic proof.

but alas, no t-shirts to speak of, but i suppose, mcdonald's and burger king do not sell t-shirts, why would i expect whatabuger or even taco bueno to sell one. i'll just look online http://whataburger.com/whatastore.php and http://tacobueno.com/

the rest of the trip consisted of the usual potty breaks, fast food, stinky rest areas (BTW, the illinois rest stops along I-57 are the bestest cleanest warmest and have the most awesomest vending machines -- our tax dollars at work perhaps?)and bizarre or silly signs along the highway.

oh yeah, tops bar-b-q in missouri off the highway... not so special, but it was food, and that was all that mattered, we'll probably be paying for it later. toot-toot!

now waaay back in eureka springs on day 2, our friend, jacob, showed us his lighter leash, and i was determined to get one on the trip for some buds. he said EVERYONE sold them there. along the entire trip i asked at every single gas station and came back empty-handed... would you believe our last stop on the road in monee illinois, there was a bucket of them sitting on the counter. go figure. and of course the one or 2 peops i gave them to don't even frakking use them. if only i had known i coulda saved myself some heartache along the way and a little spending money.

by the time we rolled into chicago and i got into my home it was actually 3am...

kinda anti-climactic i know, but we were on the road for over a week. cut me some slack. despite a few baby bits of tension or disagreement, overall, K and i had a wonderful trip, a fun trip, an educational trip. having known K for not even a full year, i'd say we got along swimmingly, or as she would say... eww delicious!

thanks for the fun vacation and memories to everyone we crossed paths with -- even the the old man who shook his head in disgust at me. but especially want to thank ms. K for being such an awesome friend, for trusting me and allowing me into her world and not shaking her head in disgust at me.

girl, i don't care if you not in a band anymore... you STILL rock!

i almost... i can't believe how much effort we put into recording this moment in your car's history!
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day 8 - wedding roadtrip '06   
10:25pm 11/02/2007
mood: bouncy
*** day eight, saturday ***

got up and we ran to ihop to get some energy going, came back & got ready for the wedding. yes, the bride had ihop the morning of her wedding day! we sat & chilled for a spell with "willow" in the dvd player -- not sure what inspired that movie choice but we all enjoyed it, oh and that mad martigan

the makeup artist arrived and things started to come together rather rapidly while nibbling on leftovers from last nights shindig and sipping on mimosas, i think i actually got a buzz going by the time willow pulled his disappearing pig trick on the baby to fool the old witch.

aside from the limo showing up late and taking the looong way to get there with the bride, the wedding was beautiful and went swimmingly well. K did an amazing job of performing the ceremony... and this was her very first time doing so!!! high five!

i got to wield the professional photog's camera here & there in the rose garden after the ceremony and in the restaurant/reception hall.

and how could you go wrong with a red velvet wedding cake, i mean... c'mon.

because the hall closed a wee bit early we headed to the glass cactus -- a HUGE nightclub open til 2am tied to a hotel/convention center near the happy couple's home. you know the kinda club with not just one, but 2 bathroom attendants in each restroom, tiny lcd tvs above the urinals and b ythe hand dryers so you could see what was happening on the dancefloor, kinda fancy schmancy. the crowd was kinda weird/mixed, as it's the only club in the hood and it's new, there was a total mixed bag of locals and tourists hanging there. we're talking handfuls of soldiers, in their dress uniforms looking to get lucky, cowboys types with their cowgirls, older folks AND I MEAN OLDER FOLKS, and some younger peops. got a quick drinky buzz on, and had a chance to chat with more of the groom's friends -- who almost all seemed to have way longer hair than the ladies at the party. we even all danced a baby bit, maybe 3 or 4 songs before the happy couple decided it was time to get frisky and split for their hotel room. we kinda hung in the bar for a spell and then went back home, once again, getting lost. but with 2 extra navigators in the car (thanks ladies!!!) we quickly found our way back to the home of the wedded couple, where we were spending the night and dog-sitting her cute little pugs. the girls stayed up late watching mallrats, and i think the trip & the booze finally hit me hard. i just zonked out big time.
day 7 - wedding roadtrip '06   
06:41pm 11/02/2007
mood: cheerful
*** day seven, friday ***

slept in for once, checkout time is noon. missed the free breakfast (only pastries and such), but the extra zzz's were so worth it. had to fight off only some minor burp demons while getting ready to hit the road, but we survived.

drove past the cheerleader outlet in a mall and did a baby bit of shopping to finish off the gifts and wrapping paper for the bride and groom, and actually found some more of K's fave maple cookies from the dollar store YAY -- they're almost like scooby-snacks for her on this roadtrip and i was afraid we were gonna be S.O.L. for the upcoming long haul home after wedding #2. we ate some jack in the box along the way. K had tacos and eggrolls and spicy fries, you'd think we'd have learned a some kinda lesson after battling for our lives after LOS NACHOS DE LOS MUERTOS.

a thousand highway interchages and a few tollbooths later, we made it to the bride & groom's (both total hotties) home about 1 hour or so before we needed to head to the rehearsal at the botanical garden. we played with the bride & groom's pets (a pug and a chia-pug) and chilled for a spell, got to meet the photog and her hubby and a few other key players. all our anticipation for a warm wedding was kinda shot, as it had grown a tad bit colder as night creeped up on us.

as they practiced i finally got to squeeze in a call to a new friend, terry, who lives kinda close to the gardens, got in some chitchat about our common girlfriend, the bitch who spends all our money (yes, that would be barbie), yard sales, some stockyard flea-markets and stuff. sadly, with the rehearsal, the bachelorette party and the actual wedding itself, there was really not going to be any time for visiting or hanging out. i was gone so long the wedding rehearsal party all thought i was getting a quickie in the men's room... no such luck.

we headed back to the house for the lingerie party (woo-hoo!) my very first ever!!! and on the way we got lost, big time cuzza the way the roads there. i mean how many "belt line road" exits can there be off of the george bush turnpike. do you really need to name 4 different roads with the same frakking name? we got flustered and i insisted we stop to get a map to try to finally find our way home.

the lingerie party crowd soon grew after we arrived. the alcohol was abundant as were the laughs and giggles. i got my own party gift bag full of goodies (colored condoms, flavored condoms & lube, a glow in the dark penis straw, a pocket vibrator, the works),

i got to play "pin the macho on the man" -- even with the blindfold, i managed to get the tip of my paper penis directly on the lips of the guy in the poster HAHAHAHAHAH! practice makes perfect. go figure. and i got to be one of the models for the toilet-paper wedding gown game, and i got to drive the professional photog's camera for a spell to allow her some fun & games.

after the party pooped out, we helped clean up,played with the grooms lightsaber (LOL - i was pretty toasted and sooo tempted to strut around in his suit of armour that was in the garage, but i knew that'd be a no-no) and then crashed hard for the night.
"do you love me?"   
03:47pm 08/02/2007
mood: sad
"... more that all the raindrops in the world and all the fishies in the sea???"

oh, anna nicole, may your soul find the peace that you could not on find this earth. you will be sorely missed.
it's gonna happen.   
08:41pm 02/02/2007
mood: cranky
yeah, it's time for me to finish the blog on the roadtrip. being sick and all, i'll have plenty of time to finish writing and finding the appropriate pics for the text.

you have been warned.

altho, i may get distracted by watching "Devil's Rain" with ernest borgnine, tom skerrit, john travolta, and william shatner, will you be jealous? i got it when i went to the store to get my sister a birthday gift... i also bought a dvd that has all 3 "It's Alive" movies on it... how fun is that?

side note, my friend jim told me that porn and zinc are the best things for a cold. if that we're the case, i'd prolly be one of the healthiest people alive, you know, minus the zinc and all.

peace out.
da woof is on fi-yah!   
11:34pm 01/02/2007
mood: sick
sick as a dog... working like a dog... what does it all mean?

i've got this nasty head-cold. i HATE them. most of my colds wind up in my sinuses, leaving me with a drippy nose, chapped lips while fashionably toting a box of tissues under my arm and the smell of carmex wafting off my face. i'd much rather get a sore throat or a cough. i RARELY get those kinds of colds. if i had the sore throat, it'd mbe my excuse to avoid talking to peops all the time.

so anyways, back to the dogs... there's this italian dude at work, no, he's actually here from italy on a student/work visa thingie, and i told him i don't get as sick as a dog.

he was all like "what does that mean? why do people always say that? are there a lot of sick dogs" and why do people say "working like a dog? dog's seem to have it pretty easy."

well, i'm assuming the "working" phrase is referring to daogs that actually work, on farms, herding cattle, sheep, whatever, or dogs pulling sleds thru the snow -- even the beatles know all about that -- but sick as a dog... beats me?

so, trying to make small talk with the italian dude, i tell him this story i heard about this stuck up prick we went to school with in college. one of the design professors would take a handful of student's with him overseas to europe for a semester. this due, whose first name is "bob" was a major jackhole and was on one of the study abroad trips. the story goes, they were in a conference room, meeting someof the local workers at the furniture factory, and they had to introduce themselves. when bob said his name, all the locals busted out laughing... when they asked why, they were told that bob is a common pet name, mostly for dogs. red-faced from the whole scene, bob then insisted on being called robert from that point on.

ok, so it wasn't that funny, i'm all hopped up on nyquil right now. what do you want from me?
crises averted... "funcle" minus "fun" equals just plain "uncle"   
05:32pm 18/01/2007
mood: confused
so, the other day, i'm at my pop's place and my sister comes to me and asks me to delete her daughter's myspace account, which was set up with the assistance of another "out-of-state" cousin, but without my sister's knowledge... we did have the login and password, so you'd think this would have been a somewhat simple task.

apparently i'm one of the more tech-saavy siblings in my family -- which, in this day & age is almost scary -- so i take her over to the computer and we start clakking away at the keyboard. once inside, we find that not only is her daughter in the system, but my brother's daughter is in there as well. so we wiat on killing the account until i can speak to my brother about the issue, as both girls are too young to be on the site, and have false info on their pages about their ages.

the next morning, i call my bro at work and basically narc on his daughter. long story short, by the end of the day, both accounts have been deleted. i felt kinda bad at first, but i know, in the long run, that in this case, the narc was a good kinda narc.

so it was also one of my niece's birthdays, so i was half-expecting to be given the evil-eye throughout the night... but nothing. the party came and went without a word of the whole thing. my friend thinks i'm an insitigator of trouble or drama. i think what happens is i sometimes imagine the worst possible scenarios in my head, so i can kinda prepare myself for whatever may happen (and sometimes let it leak out of my mouth). funny, cuz others see me as more of an optimist, maybe it's cuz if things turn out bad, i'm usually chipper about it cuz i expected it and have plan of sorts or was expecting even worse.

i'm not sure if they each got a lecture about the hazards/safety of the internet at all, but then again, i'm not their parents and i can't monitor their internet use -- but being on the internet all day for work i feel like i should make sure they have some kind of guidance, verbal or otherwise. i think it's great that kids are learning to use internet for their homework, communicating, everything else, but at the same time, i'm not sure how safe they are, or how much safety they are being taught.

i know this is kinda all over the place, but i wanted to write it all down before the my brian started scrambling over other things here today.
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